「嫌いなら呼ぶなよ」　綿矢りさ、 河出書房新社、2022

“Don’t Invite Me If You Dislike Me!” by Risa Wataya, Kawade Shobo Shinsha, 2022

In an interview, Risa Wataya said that she did not set out to write short stories about the pandemic or masks or social media, but when she put the characters she had thought up into our present, these aspects just naturally pushed their way through. Her characters are all self-centered and strong personalities who go after what they want, even if those around them do not understand or even reject them. Sometimes I wanted to cover my eyes so I didn’t have to see the car wreck that I felt sure lay ahead for people so impervious to social norms, but Wataya’s combination of farce and black humor keeps these stories from ever becoming dark. And each story ends with a well-aimed punch that I never saw coming.

The first story,『眼帯のミニーマウス』(“Minnie Mouse’s Eye Patch”) is about Rina, a young woman who has always loved anything “cute” and spends her time posting pictures of her manicures and elaborate face masks on Instagram. When she readily admits to a coworker that she has had work done on her face (“just” hyaluronic acid fillers, for the most part, not actual surgery), the news quickly spreads through the office. One coworker in particular won’t let it go. For the most part, Rina doesn’t let their needling bother her; her attitude is that her 10 centimeter high heels (equivalent to her strong pride) will keep her from being soiled by any vomit or garbage on her path. Besides, she is able to get revenge (and a date) in a most satisfying way.

Wataya juxtaposes Rina with her smart and successful friend who, in the eyes of society, would be deemed “normal,” but who struggles with crippling stress and anxiety. Rina’s advice to her friend is to imagine that her work colleagues  live on a different planet—the only way to get by is to split oneself off from the rest of the world. At work, she just focuses on how much she can slack off without anyone noticing so she can earn her salary without much effort. She finds that only being able to see half of someone’s face also gives her more emotional distance from people, which is soothing, and she uses hand sanitizer and spray less as a way to kill germs than as a substitute for salt or holy water, sprinkled on her hands or tossed into the air to reset her mood and forget unpleasant subjects.

Wataya wrote the second story,『神田タ』, to see what would happen if a YouTuber and fan actually met in real life. Poyan-chan’s cute nickname is a stark contrast to her obsession with Kanda, an up-and-coming YouTuber. She craves Kanda’s recognition, but also obsessively criticizes him in the comment section if she doesn’t like his videos. When Poyan-chan eavesdrops on Kanda and his friends at a restaurant, she learns that he doesn’t even read the comments and intends to follow his own artistic impulses, rather than take advice from fans. Poyan-chan boils over and tries to get revenge, but in the end, it is Kanda who has the last word.

In the title story,『嫌いなら呼ぶなよ』, a serial adulterer is called to account by a mini court made up of his wife and her friends, but he gives them no satisfaction. His self-pity and total lack of remorse are depicted in such a comical way that I almost sided with him. While his wife is detailing all of his crimes against her, he is lost in a daydream in which an interviewer (a young woman, of course) asks him why women are so attracted to him. He attributes his allure to his nailcare routine and the exercises he does to maintain the ab muscles his wife likes so much. Confronted with photographic evidence from a detective his wife’s friends have hired, he spouts out the right words, but always sees himself as the real victim. And yet even this narcissist bends to social pressures when it comes to masks: “When was it that he realized that doing the opposite when everyone else was wearing a mask, or not wearing a mask, took as much courage as throwing up in the middle of a glitzy party hall? He thought he had been living just as he liked all this time, but it turned out that he had just been faithfully playing his assigned role in this mundane world.”

In「老は害で若も輩」(“The Old are a Nuisance and the Young Aren’t Much Better”), a 42 year-old freelance writer and 36 year-old author (named Risa Wataya, of course) engage in a furious battle over email. The freelance writer has written a draft of a magazine story based on an interview with Wataya, but Wataya rewrote the entire article. The writer refuses to accept these changes, even if it means that she never gets any commissions again, while Wataya insists that, as the youngest winner of the Akutagawa Award, she should have the last word. The young 26 year-old editor, Uchida, tries to stay on the sidelines, but they drag him into their arguments, and ultimately only unite when they both turn on him. When Uchida gets drunk and emails the two women to tell them how he really feels, the gloves come off.

Everyone is being judged and judging in Wataya’s stories, creating a suffocating atmosphere that is exacerbated by the pandemic’s restrictions. You might not like all of these characters, but there is something admirable about their gutsiness and thick skins. For the most part, these characters are so caught up in the worlds of their own making that they are essentially impervious to the outside stresses and peer pressure that makes life so hard for some, especially during the pandemic. Maybe we could all benefit from some healthy self-absorption?

Note: As of this writing, Wataya’s only novel translated into English is  『蹴りたい背中』(translated as I Want to Kick You In the Back by Julianne Neville), the novel for which she won the Akutagawa Award, at age 19, in 2004 .